Your sons do not respect you

because you seek to be respected.

Your daughters care too much

because you want them to be less caring.

Your spouse appears to be relieved after the divorce

because you secretly want her to find her way back

into your life.

You run around in your day-to-day

between your "jobs" accumulating vast sums of money

because you have no need for them.

To the onlooker outside,

your days appear "normal".

On the inside,

your days are doused in the many involuntary thoughts

related and not related to your predicament,

while you robotically serve your "job".

But in the middle of the chaos of your day-ly distractions,

you somehow manage to stay "focussed".

For the after-work promise of cheap and unevolved

entertainment of booze and television keeps you bound to the "focus".

But that is not it.

Because during "all of this"

you continue to dip in-and-out between

losses, hopes, remorses, and guilts of your life.

You have no hint of pure humane desire left.

No drop of virility is to be found

in your dying, out-of-shape, dull and listless body.

And this is blatantly obvious in your countenance,

which appears to invariably twitch between

pleading for mercy and begging for pleasure.

Being stuck in this death-like existence,

and having nowhere to go,

the only thing that keeps you ticking forward is "your life".

Yes.

You,

even after having dropped down to the lowest of the existences,

latch on to your routine of distraction - "your life".

And this "routine" is the very thread your life is hanging by.

Death is closeby.

You know it.

But even after finally admitting this fact,

your perils do not spare you fairness.

For the depth at which this knowledge resides is too low

for you to tap into it.

And the depth is only increasing.

For no matter how many times there has been a "degradation" in your living,

the pleasures,

however degrading they themselves have gotten over time,

have pulled you right back into "your life",

adding layers and layers of mind-fullness,

and deepening the undeniable knowledge of your impending demise.

Yes, dear friend.

You are living in the "limelight of death".

An existence so death-like and so close to real death,

that your perceptions and your reactions to those perceptions

are a creation in itself -

a one of a kind unnatural mutation -

a localized plague or a virus or cancer.

And other than keeping yourself contained and "quarantined",

there is nothing you can do about it.

Which bring us to the only "good" thing about your existence -

You are so past the "infectious" stage of your life,

that your timid voice and your petty "wisdom" stand not a chance

to misguide the young and the innocent.

And I will say good for them.

For though they have their own "demons" and other battles of life,

they are spared from having to deal with your limelight...

The limelight of your life...

The limelight of your view of life and "knowledge"...

...the limelight of death.